No one should ever have to see what I saw.

In fact, I don’t think the human psyche is capable of handling such a thing.

I guess that is why we go into a state of shock, it’s our own mind, body, soul instinctually protecting itself.

I think I remained in what was considered a state of shock for almost a year. Even after a year, it took me many years to transition back to understanding that the world around me was solid.

It has been thirteen years now and I try never to go back to that morning, but all the details will live in my flesh and bones forever…

it has become part of who I am.


I now know why people who survive traumas never want to speak word of them.

It’s because you can’t believe you are on the other side of it,

and that is enough,



Enough to never speak word of it…

the fragility is too dangerous…

the state of survival is too incomprehensible.